But I guess ultimately what scares me about marriage is where do you find this person? You know a lot of times, most successful relationships, people meet through work, school, mutual friends. But what’s most interesting to me is when people just meet in life, just randomly. You know, I have a friend, he got married, I asked him like “Hey, uh, where’d you meet your wife?” He was like “I was leaving Bed, Bath & Beyond. I was looking for my car - I drive a gray Prius. I saw a different gray Prius, I thought it was mine, I walked up to it, I realized I had the wrong car, but I bumped into Carol, we started talking, that was that”. That’s unbelievable. Think about all the random factors that had to come together to make this one moment possible - this one moment that changed these two people’s entire lives: First off, this guy has to live in this particular town. Then he has to get a gray Prius. Then he has to need to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then he has to go to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then there has to be another guy who also lives in town, also drives a gray Prius, also needs to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond, also goes to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond at around the same time. Then they have to both park somewhat near each other, my friend has to leave before the other guy leaves, see the wrong Prius, think it’s his, walk up to it. Then the woman, Carol, needs to be near the wrong gray Prius for a million other random reasons. They bump into each other, they start talking, their entire lives are changed. That’s the most amazing and terrifying thing about life. It is, cause the amazing thing is that at any moment, any one of us can have that moment that totally changes our lives. You could be leaving the show tonight, bump into someone… it could change your life. You don’t know, that could happen. The terrifying thing is… what if we’re all supposed to be at Bed Bath & Beyond right now?
When I was young, I thought the most painful thing in the world was to fall on your knees and bleed. Eighteen years later, I realized that, the most painful things in the world are usually invisible. You can’t see a heartache or a heartbreak. It doesn’t bleed but you can feel it deep inside. It’s almost like the ear pain you get during a plane journey. It hurts like hell yet you can’t describe exactly how it feels.
1. there is going to be a day or two or three where nothing goes right and it seems like everyone is against you, do not forget that you can crawl in bed and take a break from the world for a little while, tomorrow will be better and you will be okay.
2. there is going to be a boy who tells you that you are the moon and who will make your heart race every time his skin touches yours, do not forget that you are not his, if he kisses you and makes you cry you are allowed to run away. people come and go and you will be okay.
3. there is going to be a girl with wolf teeth who rips out your heart and cuts at your throat, you will love her because she is everything you are not and you will hate her because she is everything you could be, do not forget that her bones are made of stardust like yours, everyone is a little lost and you will be okay.
4. green should be the color of plants and not people, do not envy the girl with dead eyes and flushed cheeks who sleeps in the beds of boys you dream of, she is a small human just like you and she gets lonely and angry and afraid sometimes too.
5. cocaine makes you sad so that you lust to do more, love does that too. do not play with matches if you are standing in dry grass. do not fall in love if you are not ready.